It's Bear-Awesome!

Okay, I am making myself blog tonight because I'm starting to be a slacker again and if I let myself get into that pattern this thing will never get updated again. I am a NOTORIOUS bad blogger. I start up again and then stop within a week sometimes.

I know what the problem is though, I've calmed down a lot since I was younger. I was always up and down and sideways about every little thing that happened to me and if I didn't have some place to write it all down I thought it would take me over. I guess the hormones have settled down or I've matured or something has happened, because I don't have those rollercoaster emotions anymore. They just don't happen. Even when something upsets me it usually wears off in a matter of hours now.

I guess I will write about the dreams I had the other night. If you know me, and why you'd be reading this if you didn't is beyond me, then you know that I rarely remember my dreams. I've always been semi-jealous of the folks who have these elaborate dreams and remember them every night, but not jealous enough to actually put effort into convincing myself to remember my dreams before I go to sleep. Seriously? Effort for dreams? That just seems a bit desperate to me, if I was meant to remember my dreams I would.

Anyways, the other night I was woken up around 4am by a series of bad dreams. I don't remember them all too clearly(big surprise there) but I jotted down some of it when I woke up from the last one. It started out with meeting Trent somewheres(yes, Trent Reznor). I don't remember exactly where we were but I think it was some sort of stadium, maybe Camden Yards. Anyway, then he had broken down and was staying in our house with us for a while. He wasn't going to be there for long, but I was trying to get pictures of him in my house to prove it or something. I kept waking up and falling back to sleep and willing myself to dream more. I am not sure if I was actually waking up at this point or just dreaming it.

Somehow I was going from house to house or room to room (it seemed like a series of houses, like a compound even) and I came upon one of my friends but he was going to kill me? This part is pretty hazy.


Then Kerry and I were broken down in some neighborhood in the dark; we were on a big tour bus but when it broke down there was no one else anymore but us. We started walking and thre was some dog that was running around and I thought it was going to kill us but it seemed to actually enjoy us. It was a big black dog and I would hear it coming up on us and running past without being able to see it. Then we came up on some sort of firey shrine that smelled of sulfur and was around some pool, somehow I ended up falling into the water and Kerry was walking around and came down to join me.

Then we were with a bunch of other people, and I think we were kids. We were underneath some big table and there were adults around above us, all we could see was their legs: some fat lady and some guy. The fat lady saw Kerry and was asking where I was and she lied and said she didn't know. I knew I had to get out of there but I couldn't find a way out. So I started telling myself "I'll wake up". I figured if I came out of my hiding place and let them find me I would wake up. As I started to crawl out from under the desk and turn to face the man who was looking for me I was screaming to myself in my head "wake up wake up wake up wake up" but i wasn't waking up and he turned all the way around and looked at me and he was evil. I can't describe how he looked but i can still picture him and thats when I woke up thinking I was either yelling out in my sleep on on the verge of screaming out "WAKE UP!"

I figured that would scare Kerry to wake up to me screaming "WAKE UP" and I knew if I fell asleep again I'd just dream more fucked up shit so I got up and wrote some of this down, it's already fading faster than I can type. I had so many more bad dreams in a row but I can't remember them. Only the last one is still vivid, but they were so real and detailed which is unusual for me.

Only the last one feels clear anymore

Well, none of them feel clear to me anymore, but I wrote that last line at 4:30am the other morning. This last weekend was a good one, I feel like I accomplished a lot of things. I took off work on friday and went to the Toyota dealer and traded in my Bronco to buy a new Toyota Tacoma. It's a very basic truck but it's all I need, nothing fancy. Plus it's a stick-shift and I've been wanting to drive stick again since I got rid of my Camaro 3 years ago.

So I've been driving it to work the last few days. It's really not going to be my daily driver, more of a work vehicle, but the new-ness hasn't worn off yet.

Friday after getting the truck I drove it to Home Depot and purchased a bunch of shingles and roofing nails. Saturday I spent most of the day roofing my shed. It was 90 some degrees out and ridiculously sunny but I got the whole thing done. I think I dehydrated myself since I had a headache the rest of the goddamn day but I swear I was drinking water the whole time.

While I was doing the shingles Kerry was helping me out by doing some weeding, then she made us some fruit salad and I grilled food for lunch. It was nice that we got to spend the morning together because she was going to a country concert with some friends that evening. Being country, I did not volunteer to attend.

I spent the evening finishing up the roof, cleaning all my gutters on the house, and finally fixing the leaking outside faucet that's been a problem for about a year now. I felt like I was finally on a roll with getting things accomplished around the house.

Sunday we spent out on the boat with Kim and Seth and Biff and Kerri, it was a good time as well. I can finally say that I have my full summer tan and I am getting really dark.

I'm excited that I've been able to get use out of the boat this year and I'm excited that I'm finally in a place where I feel like I'm able to accomplish some of the tasks around the house without getting frustrated at the magnitude of all that needs to be done. Kerry is moving in on the 8th of August so I really need to start clearing up some storage space and figuring out how we're going to mesh all our things together.

Things with Kerry are great, we've been together over 2 years now and still have not had a fight. I find that a little ridiculous. Maybe I've mellowed out some since my younger days. I just don't like fighting anymore. Matt King has a new girlfriend and she seems really nice. It's been a pretty top notch summer thus far from Hawaii to Emily's visit, to the Ocean with my cousins, to all the boating and work around the house.

Anyways, this is just rambling on and on at this point so I'm going to make myself stop before I bore my one or two readers to death.